When I was growing up, hanging in the good lounge room of my parents house was a framed painting of a young child. Her hair was a mop of yellow to her shoulders. A thick fringe stopped just above deep brown eyes which peered upward from her slightly lowered head. Growing up, I believed this child was me. I can’t tell you why exactly. She didn’t look like me. My hair was blonde, but my skin fairer and eyes green. Perhaps my connection with this image, was what I interpreted her eyes to mean. ‘Do you see me?’ This idea that I was the girl in the painting remained my secret belief for many years, however on deeper reflection, the curiosity of ‘do you see me?’ lasted much longer.
What did you used to believe when you were a child? When you were young, were you daring, shy, conservative, busy, adventurous, creative? Would you say you had a tendency toward optimism or sadness? And has this remained? I find such intrigue in the transition from child to adult. It’s strange some of the things we did, saw or imagined when we were young, isn’t it? Looking back at your childhood, you can laugh, maybe have a few tears, or perhaps you’re totally gobsmacked you made it out alive after the many antics you pulled! It gets me thinking, if as children, we were so eager to fill our head with stories of hide-away’s, fairies, super-heroes and imaginary worlds, what else did we believe in?
In fact, we believed anything and everything the world around us showed. Until the age of seven that is. You may or may not know, zero to seven is referred to as the imprinting years because during this time, children’s brains are in a lower vibration stage known as Theta. Theta is the state of brain vibration required for hypnosis. Because of this, young children observe and download the interactions around them and then assign a meaning. How cool is that? Until you realise you may be an adult who’s still living with child-made meanings that hold no benefit in your current life.
‘Rich people are crooks.’
‘You can’t trust men.’
‘The world’s beautiful and you’ll have an amazing life.’
‘I love you.’
‘Don’t try, then you can’t fail.’
‘No pain, no gain.’
‘Be a good girl and look after others.’
What other beliefs do you think are instilled in children’s subconscious minds? There are millions, aren’t there?
As Bruce Lipton demonstrates from his research, humans are only using 5% of their conscious mind as they navigate this thing called life. Think about that for a moment. You’re adulting. You have responsibilities to family, friends, colleagues and strangers, and you drive your car from A to B. You’re responsible for influencing your children, and you’re using 5% of your conscious mind? Holy Toledo mumma – what are we doing?!
I’m taking a stab in the dark and guessing you’re with me when I say it’s time to draw a metaphorical line in the sand and take back our thoughts. After all, it’s our thoughts that create our words, our words that create our actions and our actions that create the memories we’re making with our children …. or missing as the case may be.
Here’s my advice for how to take back your mental power, so your children can know the real you.
- Acknowledge the super-freaking options you now have! 10% conscious brain power – here I come!
- Get realistic. Start small and set yourself up for success. What’s one B.S. (belief system … I don’t know where your mind went?) created in your childhood that doesn’t serve you now you’re an adult. I mean, you’re old enough for a phone, a car, to shop, right? It’s time to grow your mind to match your body and age. Maturity people, maturity.
- Notice your thinking. If a thought serves you, reinforce it. If not, kick that thought to the curb.
- Get excited and design the dream you! Did you ever play with dolls, like the cardboard ones where you changed the clothes by folding over the tabs of the new paper outfits? If that was exciting then, imagine how awesome it would be to create your dream version of you now. (Insert hand-clapping, fist pumping and ‘I’m Every Woman Here’, singing here)
- Finally, be gentle. Be gentle with yourself and with those who most influenced your early years. They did the best they knew, and you’ve been doing the best you know too.
In all seriousness, beliefs are the number one reason you feel something may be missing in your life. It’s because you’re living a life created by someone else. That sadness that sits in your chest, the dull pain in your head, the heaviness in your body. They’re the reason you procrastinate or put everyone else first. The reason you avoid conflict or run toward it like a wounded bull. Beliefs created in your childhood are what’s stopping your soul from singing and preventing your children knowing the real you. What are your hopes and dreams? What do you believe in, value and want for your life? Find the answers, because you no longer need to live with the rules of someone else’s ideas.
Embrace this phenomenal opportunity to redesign the woman you dream of being and the mother your child needs.
Still stuck? Google Bruce Lipton, or alternatively, try answering these five questions:
- What do you really want to feel?
- What do/have you let get in the way?
- What have you been tolerating?
- What’s the story you’re still telling yourself?
- How would someone you admire approach this situation?
When I look at the painting in my parent’s house now, I’m undecided if the girl is sad or rather, if she might have an ever-so-slightly mischievous smirk hinting at the side of her mouth? And do you know what? I can make it mean whatever I want. The ability to choose my beliefs is the joy and privilege of being an adult. Yours too.